black & white & sunflowered

I started off with four matching napkins. ^

And sewed 3 together.

Cut a neckhole in the fourth.

Gathered the first three and sewed them to the two sides of the fourth.

Added this just-right button to the back middle hem.

Not to my surprise, the shirt is really airy and poofy (so nice and cool, but also not /super/ flattering) but I really like it. :D It also reminds me mostly of a dress a 5 year old would have. But... I don't care. :)

reasonable service

I will run the course of Your commandments,
For You shall enlarge my heart.
Psalm 119:32

   During an Olympic "Pressing on" themed week, it's interesting that this verse ended my devotions the first morning of camp. At the time I just caught on to the last phrase and prayed for an open heart, but now it hits me how well the whole verse captures the repetitive thought and feel of that week: Running the course of God's commands. Running the race of faith. A heart that's open to serving others.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
Romans 12:1

   Holy and acceptable to God. Following His commands. That's reasonable. That's not too much to ask.

   I'm pretty much terrible at summarizing events really well with a neat and tidy essay of what I learned, but I would use those two verses as the keys to a lot of my thoughts.

 
   But I think everything I really took away from Joni and Friends were all things I learned from watching others.

• Christ centered
  
  Not self focused. Being self-centered is the sin I've been seeing most in myself the past few months.
  So many people at Camp Joni were the opposite of this. Even in the small things. They'd walk by me during the middle of the day, say hello, and ask, "How is your day going?" when they were definitely the ones who had the harder job of both of us.
  They weren't trying to, but every time they'd ask me how I was doing it was a guilty reminder that I had only really been thinking about myself and hadn't thought to ask them the same question.
  
  Also, I don't know for sure, but possibly one of the reasons it was good for me to be in the Sib Program instead of having a camper was that if I had a camper I probably would have been a lot more focused on what I was doing and how "much" I was giving instead of looking at the situation thinking, "Well God, I really don't feel like I'm doing much of anything right now. So please use this small, small situation (in my eyes) and work through me anyway, even in something that doesn't seem like it's making a big difference."
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I think sometimes it takes more of God's grace to serve in small ways. To notice the small things, to be willing to do them for the right reasons, not for the recognition.
  
  It's easier in many ways to go on a mission trip to a different country than it is to go weed the garden right after breakfast when you have a list of things you'd been planning to do instead.
  
  
  
  
  

• Prayer
  
  I was so impressed by all the prayer during Camp Joni. First in the tour where we stopped every so often and prayed for safety during the week. During the "commission" time before the families came. And to top it off, the end where Liz wanted to pray with us before we left.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Praying with people is special. I think it'd be way more meaningful if someone is going through a hard time, if we stop the conversation and what we're doing right there and offer to pray with them. Not just say quickly, "I'll try to be praying for you guys."
  
  I don't realize how important and special prayer is, but I got a small taste, and I want more.
  
• Reaching out to people
  
  Introvert, extrovert, or not... I want to be able to have Christ's love shining through me. And I want to be able to forget about myself (again, with the self-centered part) enough to be able to focus on others and what their needs are. To be able to make people feel at ease, too. To have them feel Christian love and fellowship and want that.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  While I was with some of the people there, I couldn't really believe that I had just met them in the last few days.
  Seriously, if you had asked me to bet money on the fact that I hadn't known them a week earlier, I would have had a tough time doing that. My brain said I just met them, my heart said, "You've known these people forever." They were my family.
  

• Not judging personality on looks
  
  It's easy to have compassion for people who are disabled or just different if they are cute kids or good looking.
  It's hard when they can't focus their eyes or control movements. But sometimes they are family too. God's children. And my discomfort being around them or unwillingness to serve them is like saying, "They don't matter." But they do.
  
  
  Give me Your eyes, that I may love the broken and the ugly - (the ones who are probably more humble then I am.) The ones who worship with less pride then I do. The ones who You gave Your life for - may I give my life as a sacrifice to You by serving them.
  
  Enlarge my heart, let me see with new eyes. Give me strength to run the course of Your commands. Give me strength and a willing heart to give my all for You by letting go of all my selfishness and pride.
  
  
  
  
  

summer picnic

This post is basically going to be an inspiration board for a picnic. Soon you will be hungry for delicious food and sunny days. Mostly delicious food.

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Alright, that's ridiculously enough. You'd think this was tumblr or something.

But you want to go on a picnic now, right?

Uncle Wilbur

2001

I peeled the bright sticker from it's backing, and the stiff edge slid underneath my fingernails. 

"Here," I said, and laughed shyly.

The man with white hair leaned down toward me, and my toes held me up as I reached toward his cap. I pressed the shiny sticker onto the blue front and rested back on my heels.

"Perfect," he said, patting the tip of his hat. "That's just right."

2002

He lifted the faded cap off his head. "See?" he said to me. "It's still here." His voice sank to a conspiratorial whisper. "My wife wants to wash it, but then it'll come off." 

He pointed to the peeling edges of the rainbow colored sticker. "It's still there!" he said again to assure me, and I nodded happily.

2004

I stood taller, shyer, and listened as he said goodbye to them. My teeth bit the edge of my lips, until he looked at me and smiled.

"The sticker came off," he said regretfully, and I nodded.

"That's okay," I said. He remembered!

"I tried to stick it back on," he explained, "but it wouldn't stay."

I ran to the van, scrambling back into my row. I yanked out my bag, rummaging wildly between the books and paper. There they are. I jumped out of the van and spied his retreating figure walking up the hill with his cane. I ran to catch up, pulling to a stop beside him.

"Here," I said, and laughed happily as I pushed the yellow sticker onto his brown cap.

2007

I sat next to his lawn chair on the porch.

"I have hot chocolate," he said, smiling. "Do you like hot chocolate?"

"Yeah," I said, laughing.

"I like it when there's marshmallows in it," he said in a confiding voice. "The little soft ones, that when you swallow they go down like--" he tilted his neck down and gulped dramatically as he popped up his head, and he made me laugh again.

I looked out at the sunlit lawn. "I think we have to go," I said, standing slowly and looking at his bare cap and plaid shirt.

Leaning over, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. As I let go, he sat forward and kissed my cheek with his smiling mouth. "That's a peck," he said. "A peck on the cheek." He squeezed my hand with his rough brown one.

"Here," I said, and laughed softly as I kissed his cheek and said goodbye.

Just a sleepy summer day...

    The sewing machine clatters as Mom runs the fabric through her hands. Then the scissors nibble away on the unwanted material and it falls on the carpeted floor. The machine shakes the card table when the thread jumps through the fabric.

Jessica sits cross-legged in the laz-e-boy dressed in loose jeans and a t-shirt. She’s holding William in her arms, and his chubby face is stretching with toothless smiles as he makes happy baby noises. His squirming brings his chin down, and his fingers grab hold of a loose blanket.

Legos scrape the edge of a red box when Nathanael pushes all the pieces to the side as he jabbers to himself. He starts stacking and building, and his head moves to the side as he leans on his elbows.

The fan runs slowly, the cords hanging down jiggling just the slightest bit back and forth. Pins stick out of Mom’s mouth as she nods attentively to Jessica’s conversation. The computer blows out air as it warms my blanket-covered lap, and the laptop keys push down with clicking noises.

The sun shining through the window shows fluttering shadows on the floor. The world outside is a sleepy summer afternoon in a small town, and the only movements visible are the wavering Maple tree branches.